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October 2006
Where does time go? Didn't I just a write in June about languid days by the pool with friends and relaxing nights in the backyard with family? Tomorrow is the first day of November. N O V E M B E R? How can that be? I intended to write again before the first day of school . Was that really was 2 months ago?
So how was your summer? Did you take time to savor everything it had to offer? Did you give yourself a gift of restorative idleness; an unexpected, melodic summer of undoing to balance the discordant days of doing way too much?
I tried to heed my own advice. I played more than I worked. I stopped and took notice of being in the moment. I used both of my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my touch, and my heart and soul to experience all that summer had to offer and this is what I experienced:
*Tears of laughter falling down my face after a food (ie cake) fight in my driveway with friends.
*The taste of really, really good wine from the best wineries in Napa and Sonoma. *Observing the beauty of the Pacific Ocean while driving down Route 1 from Napa to San Jose with Wes.
*Dancing with my children in the backyard on a hot summer night.
*The smell of smoke from our new firepit that provided an open invitation to our neighbors and inspired many, many spontaneous backyard parties.
*The taste of burned marshmallows that were created from the new firepit and proudly given to me by my children.
*The look on Wes's face when I drove our new SUV around the house and parked it in the backyard with me and my friends singing as loud as possible out the sunroof.
*The look on Wes's face at 3am when he discovered I had come home without his Jaguar because it had been towed.
*The look on Nick's face when he opened a cigar box full of quarters on his birthday from his Grandfather.
*The feel of my Mother's hug and seeing the tear in her eye as she thanked me for hosting all of the people she loves the most for the first time ever under one roof for an entire week at the beach.
*The taste of my own homegrown strawberries and tomatoes right off the vine.
*The serenity and stunning beauty of sitting at Circleville Park at 6am with my coffee and John Legend CD playing softly watching the sunrise before me and a full moon still glowing over the corn fields behind me.
*The proud look on Nick's face as he told me he had shined his flashlight on the stars and made them brighter for me.
*My heart overflowing with joy and love as I read the inscription in a beautiful book simply titled Beaches. It read: "1st Anniversary - Paper. August 5, 2006. Here's to seeing you, the most beautiful woman in the world on all of the most beautiful beaches in the world. We have the rest of our lives to see them all. Love, Wes."
I am truly blessed and I know this.
Summer may be over but life's magical moments are not. Yes, it is November. It has silently snuck up on us; catching all of our senses by surprise. The beauty bestowed upon our eyes this time of year is absolutely spectacular. The colors that greet us from every leaf on every tree seems to say, "Look, look, look at me!! Quickly before I go away".
Time does not stop. The leaves will fall to the ground. The trees can't hold on to them. Soon the trees will no longer be adorned with their colorful ornaments. They will be left standing naked for all of us to see.
We live in a world that is dynamic and dizzying. Our lives are full of change. We change, relationships change, our children change. Life will not, it can not, remain the same. It shouldn't.
The most rewarding and life altering change in my life has been becoming a mother. Being present in the lives of my children and watching them grow and change everyday has been truly amazing. I continue to be in awe of not only their physical transformation, but their intellectual and spiritual transformation as well. Each of my children surprise me daily with their ability to adapt and adjust to all of what life throws their way.
But, just like the trees and their leaves, I know I can't hold onto them forever. Soon they will be moving on, out on their own, into the dynamic and dizzying world. My hope is when that moment arrives that I will greet it with joy and excitement for them and not selfishly feel sad and empty.
As much as we want to make time stand still, keep the leaves on the trees, or hold our babies in our arms, shielding them and protecting them from harm……… we can't. What we can do is this: we can be fully conscious in the present. We can recognize and focus on what we have; not on what we lack or think that we need. We can be good friends, good lovers, good citizens. We can authentically live our lives and nurture our souls.
Tomorrow, November 1, is All Saints Day. A day to celebrate the glories of heaven and those there. Consequently, November 2 is All Souls Day. It is a day set aside since the Middle Ages to remember and respect the souls of all friends and loved ones who have passed before us. It is also a day to remind ourselves to live holy and fulfilling lives. All Souls Day is a beautiful occasion for contemplating how we care for our own souls. As Thomas Moore writes in his meditation Care of the Soul "it is through the small details of life that we make our souls feel welcome. Tending to the things around us and becoming sensitive to the importance of home, daily schedule, and maybe even the clothes we wear are ways of caring for the soul."
Do you care for you own soul? What would bring you joy, peace, contentment at this very moment? Contentment for me at this very moment…… would be to know that I have enough candy for the onslaught of Trick or Treaters who keep arriving at my door.
Seriously though, what does your soul need? Maybe a long walk or run on a warm autumn day. Time shared with a dear friend over a cup of joe. A nap. Maybe to slow down, hug a child or caress a cat. Have a good cry. Pray. Dream. Fantasize. Watch a favorite move. Flip through a mindless magazine. Call your Mom. Luxuriate in idleness. As Victorian British writer Jerome K. Jerome confessed "It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. There's no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do…… Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen." Whatever it is that calls out to your soul, listen and take heed.
Becoming real, being in the moment, paying attention to your own needs, achieving authenticity, nurturing your soul. These are all extremely beautiful gifts we must not deny ourselves. As written in Margery William's mystical tale of the transformative power of love, The Velveteen Rabbit, "Real isn't how you are made. It's a thing that happens to you. Generally by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
I completely agree with Sarah Ban Breathnach. In her book Simple Abundance she writes "In order for us to become Real, we must become lovers of life in all its complexity and uncertainty." We need to learn to endow the smallest moment of each day with love. Where there is love, there are always miracles. And where there are miracles, there is great joy.
Seize the day. Seize today. Experience all that life has to offer. Live. Love. Laugh. Experience joy. Witness miracles. Nurture your soul. Become real.
Time doesn't last forever.
Once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.
-Margery Williams
Michelle
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